Speaking of pumping and breastfeeding and boob juice, I thought since it takes up such a big part of my day, and I find breastfeeding humor and stories funny, there ought to be a page on my blog specifically devoted to that. And I am sure I have enough material to keep the page going, if I could only figure out how to put new posts in each page. Anyways, I'll kick this page off with the different styles of a breastfeeding baby.
#1 The Shark Attack-baby alerts you to their hunger by growling and latching on roughly with mouth wide open and angry eyes and refuses to release their super clamp until they are satisfied, sporadically growling and clamping down to make sure you know they mean business.
#2 The Kitten-baby makes meowing sounds and pumps her fists into your breast, and swats at it like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn.
#3 The Glutton-drinks and drinks until they are bursting at the seams, pauses long enough to fill their diaper and pas gas, mid meal, making room for more, and tops themselves off, milk running out the side of their mouths, belly pushed out and round, half awake, drinking themselves into oblivion. They finish the meal marathon with a loud belch and drift off into a deep slumber.
#4 The Grazer-exactly as it sounds. This baby is not a Thanksgiving meal kinda baby. She is watching her girlish figure and so grazes on small snacks more frequently throughout the entire day, making mom feel as if all she does is sit and feed and only half finish anything.
#5 The Flirt-baby has a friendly relationship with her food source and throughout the course of her meal, pulls off, smiles and talks to it, bats her eyelashes at it, and excitedly goes back for me. She's making sure she doesn't bite the hand (or the boob) that feeds her, by showing tender loving affection.
#6 The Favoritist- Openly favors one side. Will eat from the other, but not without putting up a fuss and making his feelings known. Relief floods him when he is done with the black sheep and moves back over to the prodigal boob.
#7 All Business and No Pleasure- baby knows that they are there for meal time, and they waste no time getting to work and getting their nourishment. They have no desire to linger and talk after or stay for desert, it's back to playtime for them.
I'm sure I'll add more later, but that's what I have for now:)
